#WifeFail

It's no secret that I lack domestic skills.  Sure, I love to clean.  There's nothing quite like the smell of bleach in the morning.  But everything else, from cooking to sewing, is usually an EPIC FAIL.  In other words, I'm not your typical wife.  Basically, I married one.


It's unfortunate for myself and my future daughters that I have dozens of these so-called "fails" to share with you.  However, since I am a history teacher and appreciate chronology, I'll start at the beginning.


Growing up, I was the oldest of four children.  I was book smart, and certainly not very street smart.

Source: mango-watermelon-love.tumblr.com via Karlita on Pinterest

(This was me in high school.  Except she's way cuter.  But I can hear her thoughts.  "No, I cannot attend the party this weekend.  I am a scholar.  And an athlete.  And alcohol is gross and scary.")

In other words, I was nerdy.  I could tell you all about the Civil War.  But ask me to clean the screens for the windows, and I'd throw them up in the air, keep them airborne with the garden hose, and break the frames in the process.  I can hear my mother groaning now.  How could I lack such clear common sense?


Fast forward to my bridal shower.  I know that this will sound blasphemous, but I thought registering for gifts was a pain in the ass.  Sure, I was excited about my wine glasses.  And my vacuum.  But the kitchen gear belonged to my husband.  He cooks, he bakes, he leaps tall buildings in a single bound, etc.  I am sure brides everywhere are rolling their eyes, but I had NO IDEA WHAT WE REGISTERED FOR where kitchen appliances were concerned.


I was more concerned with my outfit.

And reading cards.

So, #WifeFail number one?  I might be the only bride in the world who received a copy of the "Martha Stewart Cookbook" (which by the way, was AUTOGRAPHED BY MARTHA STEWART herself) as a JOKE.

#WifeFail number two?


When I opened our really nice french skillet from Williams Sonoma, I said thank you and proceeded to ask if I was supposed to make french toast in the french skillet.  My husband to be quickly told me to stop asking questions:)


Trust me people, there are several more gems of my non-domestic skills.  Oy.

Do you have any "wife fails" to share? 

(Note:  I don't really think I'm a failure.  If anything, I am amused by my lack of skills.)