How a Baby Changed My Marriage

When I gave y'all the "keys to my blog", one of the topics that several of you mentioned you'd like to read about is how a baby has changed my marriage.  And it's funny that so many of you suggested it as a potential post topic, because it's something I've been thinking a lot about lately as well.  It's no secret that having a baby changes everything, from your relationships to your body, and most definitely, your sleep:)  And I don't think it's something you can fully appreciate until you're actually "in the trenches", so to speak.  But yes, my marriage has definitely changed, and I thought I'd share a bit about it.

(A little background:  Mike and I met in 2004 at a wedding.  We moved in together one year later, and lived together for three years before getting engaged.  We were married in July of 2009, and started trying for a baby in December of 2011.  However, as many of you know, it took us well over two years to get pregnant.  We were about to undergo a battery of fertility tests when I found out I was pregnant with Layla.  She was born on November 8, 2013, and here we are!)

1.) We DO argue, more than we used to.

I mean, let's be honest.  All couples argue at one point or another.  But honestly, Mike and I very rarely got into it before Layla came along.  With my raging hormones, our lack of sleep, and our differences in opinion regarding how Layla should be handled, we have definitely gotten into some disagreemnets.  But at the same time, I think we're much better about reflecting on those arguments after the fact.

2.) We have to work REALLY hard at finding time for "us".

Since Layla was born, I can count the number of "date nights" we've had on one hand.  It isn't always easy to find child care, even with family so close by.  So, we do what we can.  We didn't want to get stuck in the rut of watching TV at night, so we sit outside, talk and listen to music.  

(One of our many discussion topics?  How our kid chews on everything…)

3.) We're a much stronger team.

We made it through pregnancy, buying a house one month before Layla arrived, moving, a rough labor & delivery, and almost eight months with a baby.  Sure, we may disagree from time to time, but do you know what we discuss even more frequently?  How lucky we are.  How much we love our kid.  How proud we are of her.  And us, for raising her.  And we did all of this, together.  I think that's pretty awesome, and I think it's important to focus on the achievements.

(Our peanut…and her super model long legs.  Seriously.  Where did they come from?)

4.) We've learned more about each other - and from each other.

Mike is a very "hands-on" father.  He also stays home with Layla during the school year a few days each week.  So, he's really mastered things like nap time and feedings.  He'll share the tricks and tips that he's learned with me.  We've also learned to "read" one another better.  I can usually sense when he needs a break, and vice versa.

(We're working on the whole "sippy cup" thing.)

5.) We've fallen more in love with each other.

When I see how Mike looks at Layla, and watch him play with her, sing to her, etc - I cannot help but fall in love with him all over again.   And I will never, ever forget the way he looked at me while I was in labor.  I could see love, pride, excitement, terror (it was a pretty rough few hours), and helplessness written all over his face (I know he felt badly for me and the pain I was enduring, and I know he wish he could have done something about it).  

(Heart.Melting.)

6.) And I have to mention this:  Mike definitely has not complained about my larger chest due to breast feeding.  I'll leave it at that.

Do you have kids?  How has your relationship changed?