And wine.
Since I can barely function most days, and my head is one foggy mess, I've had a few random thoughts that I'd love to share.
* If I was an actress in Hollywood, I would love to be a series regular on "Law & Order". Why? It's awesome job security. This thought occurred to me as my husband watched his 4,000th episode of "SVU" the other night ("SVU" is to Mike what the "Real Housewives" series are to me = mindless television). Anyway, I noticed that this particular episode originally aired in 2000, and the usual suspects were there: Benson, Ice-T (Sorry, I don't know his character's name), etc.
* Speaking of Ice-T, did anyone catch his VH1 series "Ice Loves Coco"? Is it ever going to return? Because I LOVE THEM TOGETHER and I'm not ashamed to admit it.
* Speaking of TV AGAIN, when I watch "Real Housewives of Atlanta", I sometimes wish I could get away with saying things like "You throwing some serious shade" and "Who gonna check me, boo?"
* It's time to go back to New York. For those of you who don't know me well, I am obsessed with the Big Apple, and visited a total of six times in three years. My last trip was in March of 2013. I took my mother, and while we had a blast, I was also pregnant and nauseous. SO. I'd like to return when the weather is warmer and I can sip cocktails on a rooftop...with a baby, of course:)
* I find it interesting how becoming a mother has changed some of my friendships. It has strengthened some, which is natural, because I now have motherhood in common with some of my friends. But it's definitely caused me to feel alienated from others. Don't get me wrong. I'm not mad / upset / etc, but it's just interesting. It wasn't something I expected.
* Speaking of motherhood, the whole "mommy wars" thing BOGGLES my mind. Since when did women become so judgmental and competitive with one another? And HOW do these people have the time to judge each other? I breast feed. I sometimes co-sleep when my child is having a rough night. I vaccinate. I refuse to let her cry it out. I will not be giving my baby rice cereal at all. And sometimes, if I just need 15 minutes, I turn on the Sprout channel. But if you do the same? Or the opposite? GOOD FOR YOU. You gotta do you, folks.
* The other day, I was behind someone in the Dunkin Donuts drive-thru (see above). And the woman ordered the following: "A medium coffee with SEVEN sugars, but easy on the cream". Umm. First of all, WHY SEVEN? Why not SIX? Or EIGHT? And WHY ARE PEOPLE SUCH A PAIN IN THE ASS? Just order a coffee, FFS. Or go to Starbucks.
Sigh. These are my ramblings, courtesy of the four-month sleep regression. At least she keeps it interesting:)
I think we're out of the 4 month sleep regression (fingers crossed!) for the most part. James is back to being up once a night which is great since he hasn't STTN yet. Hopefully it ends for you soon!! I don't get the mommy wars either. I've become more outspoken about my choices for him but at the same time it makes me want to hold my tongue because I don't want to hear others tell me what to do. It's perfectly fine for everyone to do what they think is best! This mom thing is hard sometimes!
ReplyDeleteohhh girl, the 4 month sleep regression is REAL. the good news is it is a stage- i guess with so much development going on, their cycles get thrown off? idk the real reasons behind it i just remember praying that my good-sleeping baby would return. and he did. around 5 months. so do what you can to survive, and enjoy your coffee and wine ;)
ReplyDeleteas the mommy wars stuff becomes more public, i am seeing a lot more support to battle it... maybe i'm just more sensitive to it now? but anyways... i don't knock whatever works for someone and their baby, as long as they are LOVED and cared for that's what matters in the end. we're all just doing our best.
and honestly, how in the world do you have time for blogging? you are kicking ass at this mommy thing.
I FULLY judge people's horrifying orders at coffee joints. I am mostly judgmental over the amount of sweetener people use!!! Like, how many splendas could possibly be necessary??? And why on earth do you need a flavor AND sweetener? And syrup and caramel?
ReplyDeleteHang in there! I was in NYC last weekend for the NYC 1/2. I had a blast but ran myself ragged - literally. Maybe not the best trip for a tired mama!
ReplyDeleteI totally love Ice-T and Coco together! I'm glad it's not just me!
ReplyDeleteAnd of course you need to go back to New York, you have to bring Layla and have her experience it.
Yeah, the 4 month sleep regression is real. But it does pass!!! I didn't experience it because Evan never slept so there was no where to regress to. And then co-sleeping solved most of our sleep problems because I can nurse in my sleep. I felt completely rejuvenated when we fully committed to co-sleeping - it was a miracle. I was totally rested most nights. We still have some bad nights (like last night) which I think are due to teething and other random things, but most of the time it's fine. Of course Evan still doesn't sleep through the night and nurses 3-4 times but I'm told that won't stop until we wean him. It doesn't bother me - I sleep and he sleeps so that is all I care about!! And let's just say, I was completely against co-sleeping until I had my son....
ReplyDeleteAnd yeah, the friend thing is weird. I had friends that just weren't interested in hanging out with people who had kids. It baffled me because I wasn't going to bring my kid everywhere and I'm careful to not talk about him 24/7. Even my older sister mentioned that she hates hanging out with people who have kids and prefers childless friends. WHAT??? We are still human beings! And I still work and do the same things I did before! You said it didn't bother you, but if obviously bothers me! :-)
I am totally not surprised about the friendship thing. I have tried to work extra hard with some friends who've had kids to still be involved with their lives even though we can't relate on the kid level. Sometimes, I just don't get things... so then I ask a close friend of mine who is a mother, what is going on :). So I appreciate you telling us about sleep regression and everything cause I have NO idea!
ReplyDeleteOh gosh. Mommy wars. Now I know it's name! I've wondered about that. And why the hell people even care. Probably makes them doubt their own decisions. It's not like any of those methods are putting the kid in harm.
Ha ha - do people really care what others order at Starbucks/etc? Yikes! I've never noticed sugar/cream/whatever they put in their coffee. Isn't that what makes it taste good? (I don't know, I can't drink it... or maybe I could, if I added all that stuff)
I'm actually taking my first-ever trip to NYC this summer! I know, how have I never been?? But you'll have to fill me in on what I have to see while there, beyond the usual tourist stuff :)
ReplyDeleteReading your and everyone else's comments about friendship after kids is interesting. One of my best friends has 2-almost-3 kids and I never mind hanging out with the kids, going to their house so they don't have to get a sitter from time to time, etc. But I have some friends who have had kids recently, and it feels like they have totally disappeared and only hang out with other parents now. Almost as if they think that, because I don't have kids, I'm no longer interested in being their friend (one friend actually did tell me they felt this way, which is totally not the case). Which is to say, it probably feels alienating on both sides. So if it's someone important, maybe it's worth talking about?
First off, LOVE her Chicago socks in that last pic ;)
ReplyDeleteThe mommy wars are awful, seriously. As women, I feel like we are our own worst enemy with the judging. Everyone knows everything about everything when it comes to parenting and everyone believes their way is best. Can't we just agree to disagree and still be supportive of one another?? end rant.
Hang in there, it gets better, I promise! That's why they're so stinkin' cute, right? I well remember those tough, tough days though. There were nights my kids would swing. All. freaking. Night.
ReplyDeletePIA people fascinate me. At least the psychology of being a PIA does. They must need attention. Must.
I've been on the other end of the friend with baby thing a lot lately too and it feels the same way reversed too. I don't take it personally though. Having a baby is a major life change and takes awhile to get readjusted to. Try to be honest with your friends that you're having a tough time and the ones that are meant to stay in your life will be there when you settle into a routine.
ReplyDeleteI have had some friends that I did lose touch with when their child was born. I tried to be supportive and helpful but usually got the "you don't understand because you don't have kids of your own" vibe. *sigh* That was the end of our friendship, and that's okay sometimes too.
I think as mothers, everyone wants to do what's right. But there are so many different "rights" for everyone. I like your nonjudgemental view!
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It's so interesting that you mention friendships becoming different post-baby. It's definitely alienated me from some friends, but it's those who the baby is ALL THEY TALK ABOUT. Everything that made us friends before seems to be gone. It makes me scared for my local friends with babies on the way...what's going to happen to our friendships? It's a hard balance and I know your life shifts, but sometimes you still want people to make that friend time sans child(ren) and know that they think about you too (not just in the texting of your child photos).
ReplyDeleteA lot of the people in our friend-group are having kids. Some are on baby #2, some pregnant with baby #1, but we were at a co-ed baby shower recently and it was the first time in awhile that we were all in the same room together, but I was like, holy moly, they all really did get pregnant at once. However, our friendships with that group were already starting to change, before they all got pregnant.
ReplyDeleteAs for the mommy wars, I was just telling my sis-in-law that it seems like parenting in the new millenium is "whatever you're doing, you're doing it wrong." I think a lot of it is insecurity. If someone makes a decision that is different from mine, does that mean mine is wrong???? No no no, THEY are wrong! Instead of recognizing that we're all different and have to figure out what works for us, and trying to learn from our differences. It happens in all areas of life, but I think people take it much more personally when it comes to parenting, because it involves a wee person who is completely dependant on you and the decisions you make.
It took me a second and then I died laughing when I realized what FFS meant lol! I totally agree with you on the RHoA sayings. I'm trying to use shade but people look at me like I'm crazy!
ReplyDeleteJust catching up, and I have so many thoughts on this post. I'm sure it's so tough to live life with so little continuous sleep. I can't imagine, though I'm sure I'll experience it at some point. In regards to the mommy wars issue, I hate it. I see it all the time on Facebook posts and blog posts, and it makes me so sad to see such strong opinions and negative thoughts about people who disagree. I don't know how you stay out of those mommy wars. I'm glad you're succeeding, and I hope to do the same when our time comes. And lastly, on the issue of friendships, I think I've been on the other side of that. I have a friend that I was very close with before she had kids but we've grown apart quite a lot because she seems to have lost most parts of her that aren't related to being a mom. I'm sure that it's part of what happens when you have a child, but you seem to be balancing mommy duties and you duties really well, and I hope I'm able to do the same.
ReplyDeleteIt's so nice to be able to watch how this is all going for you and to see you so happy and successful at it all. I know we've only met a couple of times, but I feel a friendship with you and appreciate your opinion in a different way than just another blogger. I hope that when we go down the path to have kids I'll be able to think back to what I learn from your experiences. You're a great mom and teacher and runner and you!
I'm late with my blog reading (as usual) but I hope baby girl's sleep has improved! It DOES get better! Also, I am a fellow lover of Ice Loves Coco. They're just so sweet to each other! Not what you would expect if judging their books by their covers, you know? And also, YES to going back to NYC! Can I tag along???
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