Since I am on spring break this week and stuck in cold Chicago (Seriously. It's been winter since like, October…), I thought I'd treat myself to a massage. I've maybe had five massages in my life: two in Vegas, one on my 30th birthday, and one right after I had the baby.
(Side note: I love to get massages in Vegas because a.) It allows you to use all spa facilities for the day, and b.) I am terrible at day-drinking. So while everyone else is getting wasted by the pool, I am usually at the spa. I've had great experiences at the MGM Grand and Vdara!)
I booked a sixty-minute deep tissue massage at a local spa, and my level of excitement in the days prior was at an all-time high. I had been back at work for a month, and Layla was in the middle of a sleep regression, so I figured a massage would at least give me an hour of relaxation and peace.
Wrong.
As SOON as the massage started, I knew I was in trouble. I was in so much pain that I had to stifle the tears. I figured the combination of returning to work, training for a half-marathon and very little sleep had done a number on my body. I asked the therapist to ease up a bit, but it didn't matter. As she continued, I COULDN'T.STOP.CRYING.
You could tell that she felt awful. But I couldn't stop. And then I tried to explain why…
"I'm so sorry. But I am so tired and my baby was up six times last night and she is so happy all of the time and I don't understand what I am doing wrong and I'm on my feet all day at work and I am trying to train for a race and I AM A MESS!"
So my massage turned into a straight-up therapy session. The massage therapist was also a mother, so she gave me a ton of suggestions about eating and sleep and everything in between. And then we discussed running, since she was signing up for her second 5K.
I will say that once the therapist knew I was a runner, she incorporated some sport massage into the mix, which was nice. But seriously. WHO CRIES DURING A MASSAGE? Clearly, I had a lot to let go…
Sigh. I feel much better now:)
Have you ever cried - or done anything embarrassing - during a massage?
I've cried during yoga before, which is probably close enough. And in general, I seem to cry at weird/inappropriate times when I'm totally drained like that, so it makes sense that you needed to cry it out. And it's good that you happened to be with someone who understands! Hope your little lady starts sleeping better soon :)
ReplyDeleteOMG GIRL! I've been there! I sobbed during my first hair appointment post Rory being born. I think it was something about it being quiet and my mind finally getting to wrap around what insanity my life was then. It all just came flooding out. Hey, better out than in though! Thank goodness you were with a fellow mama who got it :)
ReplyDeleteOh Meghan I love you I want to hug you
ReplyDeleteI bawled 30 minutes after a massage that I feel asleep in. I wasn't sad or happy or anything I just had this insane urge to cry! Apparently all the toxins needed to release themselves via my tear ducts and my massage therapist said that it was proof that the massage worked! And I think she was right :)
ReplyDeleteI think the better question is what do I not cry during? Massages are definitely on that list- as well as anything requiring relaxation and down time shortly after having the baby. You're getting adjusted to an entirely different world, some of which you definitely do NOT want to get adjusted to, but it seems like you have no choice. It's tough and it's a non stop job to be a mom, and it takes a toll on all of our emotions and release outlets. My mom always tells me (usually when I am in the middle of a complete breakdown) that we are just wired to cry when we are exhausted, that's just how we release. Even kids do this. Don't be hard on yourself, and instead just embrace the fact that you're a part of this motherhood club- it aint easy, and we cry at inopportune times and go through periods of complete exhaustion- but at the end of the day, the joys will outweigh it all. Most days anyway, :)
ReplyDeleteI had to laugh a little when I saw this on Twitter. It was Twitter, right? Anyway, I'm glad your massage therapist was an understanding mom. That's one of the things about becoming a mom. It is now ok to cry at absolutely everything.
ReplyDeleteOh I can relate I have cried during things that should be relaxing. I am glad your massage therapist was understanding and had children. Always easier to spill your guts when the person has been in same issue. At least you got a massage some therapy and a good cry :)
ReplyDeleteI am wreck on very little sleep! However, I'm good at waiting to cry- I've cried in my car a few times after super draining days!!!
ReplyDeleteI get semi-regular massages and have screamed and almost fallen asleep. I'm sure they've seen everything. Sounds like the massage helped relax you, even if it wasn't in the way you planned.
ReplyDeleteI have a tendency to get emotional when I run sometimes. I bawled the day after my dad's heart attack and I cried during yesterday's long run because I've run out of mental power after six weeks of dealing with bad allergies.
Big hugs to you - it's so hard to balance it all. I haven't cried during a massage (yet) but that's possibly because I couldn't even tell you the last time I had a massage. I think it was our honeymoon, which was eight years ago. I hope you get some rest soon!
ReplyDeleteI've never HAD a massage, so maybe I should go get one and find out if I cry? I feel like my body is one big knot so I'd probably cry.
ReplyDeleteGIRL! I cried because I broke my favorite mug. Like couldn't control it. Work and life are very stressful right now, and I just had to let it flow! I hope you felt more at peace afterwards. XOXOXOXOXO
ReplyDeleteI don't think I've made it through a church service in the last year without crying. Every. Time. Blessed and stressed is a dangerous tear combo! We also have a very happy baby who sleeps for sh*t and it's just not easy. Hire a cleaning lady. I swear, it's the only way I am able to keep it together. She's cheaper than formula. :)
ReplyDeletehaha ohh lady... i am glad she was a mama, so you know she's had those moments too!! its funny how everything hits you at the oddest times. its so hard to do ANYTHING when you haven't gotten quality sleep for days on end... apparently theres a 7 month regression to look out for in your future... or maybe it's just my child? he's refusing to eat much during the day, so between waking up starving and teething, we're all walking zombies over here. i just keep telling myself that it's all temporary and hopefully one day i will have my good sleeping baby back!
ReplyDeleteI have never been able to relax during a massage. I use to have to get them three times a week for about 3 months due to an injury and I literally always felt so self conscious during them that I could never let go.
ReplyDeleteHaha awwww this made me really feel for you! I'm not a mom yet so I don't quite get the combo of sleep deprived and stressed, but once I got a couples massage with a boyfriend and right before the massage we had like GIANT iced chais. So about 30 minutes into the hour massage all I could think about was how badly I had to pee. I finally had to ask to go after like 45 minutes...SUPER EMBARRASSING
ReplyDeleteYou poor thing! I know the feeling of having all that stuff just kind of explode out at unexpected times. New motherhood is no joke! I hope the massage ended up being therapeutic, in more ways than one. :)
ReplyDelete